#27: Dealing with Loss

November 13, 2008 was a day that changed my life forever. I remember my mom coming into my room and telling me about the news story, the one that resulted in the loss of one of my best friends. I watched it over and over and over again, praying that this was just a nightmare. But the nightmare was a reality, she was gone.

Every day that passes, I only miss her more. I know that sounds so cliche, but it's so true.  They say time heals all wounds, but so far, not so much.  I miss laughing with her, hanging out in the backroom at work, eating cheese and say our favorite phrase, "muy queso." Man, we loved cheese. I miss shopping all the time and having dance parties in the car and playing secret spies and gift wrap baseball. I miss siding with her mom over the fact that she needed to wear more clothes and buying toilet paper at 11pm. I miss reading her sweet poems and waiting to see what newly glued together concoction would be waiting in the work locker we shared for two years. I miss turning the island around at work just too annoy the ladies that worked in the morning. I miss her laugh. I miss her smile. But most of all, I miss having a constant friend who would drop everything for anyone for any reason. I miss watching the selflessness I hoped to one day mimic.

Planning a wedding is hard when you're missing one of your bridesmaids. I wonder how it would be different, what she would think of my ideas and what kind of trouble she would try to get me in before my wedding day. And while I don't know the answers, I do know she'll be there on my wedding day, watching and asking God with her sweet smile to hold off the rain because she knows how much I love the sunshine.